Saturday, February 19, 2011

Vibrations

Clicking across the rails,
it sooths the senses.
Haunting whistles
serve as a reminder;
the sacrifice of flesh
still fresh, after so many years.

These centered moments;
mirrored in walls that crumble.
falling to forces outside our grasp
While echoes float in shimmers,
a connection to events
since removed from context;
carrying a sting that ripples.

Here, in the moonlight,
thoughts wander,
conjuring images of life;
stories set to emotions that linger.
As he whispers in my ear,
my heart stops, waiting for the push.



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1 comment:

  1. I like this one. It has definite promise! It's a bit too vague for me (you know I need more specificity) but the way into the poem through the first stanza is a great setup. The way that the line "While echoes float in shimmers" creates a sense of Synesthesia works very well. The last stanza seems kind of a cop-out to me though; you leave us without actually telling us anything.

    "thoughts wander,
    conjuring images of life;
    stories set to emotions that linger. "

    What "thoughts"?
    What "images of life"? From your poem, I have little to work towards.
    What "stories"? Clearly there are stories as lines 5-6 tell us, but your poem just points a place we can't see. It would be good if you actually showed it to us.

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