Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Settled Reality

Time dragged me through the reality of thoughts I avoided until this morning. Hitting like a rouge wave pushing me deeper into the surf. Struggling for a hold and air, I turned to look at him...a mistake, I freely admit, because the very sight steals my breath, turning the world.

It took all my strength to pull back the tears he saw precariously perched behind these saddened blue-green eyes. Why I attempted to hide anything is beyond comprehension, the truth is he always knows no matter how deep I bury my I sit waiting for time to betray me once more.

Captured in a fickle sense of fear, my heart tosses between the urge to run and the unending, all-consuming need to be in his presence. But even I can't keep out reality forever. The question lingers, heavy on the tip of my tongue. I choke it back, so as not to ruin the moments, but it sticks in my throat. A whisper of thoughts, I try to clear.

What are we to become?

He'll never let me in completely...into his life. The price paid really isn't worth what he receives from me. In the end, he lives alone. Besides, love can't overcome all fears and sometimes it isn't enough. Feel the sorrow of those statements? Did the wave hit you too?

I live in stolen moments...for the sake of love. No, that's wrong...for the sake of selfishness, because I can't let him go. So I settle into a heavy heart with the knowledge he will never truly be mine.

~The Sky Tumbles~

Sitting in silence
letting time drag me
through the reality of thoughts
I tried so desperately to avoid

Watching moments
pool at my feet
to mix with the sorrow
of a loss yet to settle
into reality

Constructs of images
falling empty into the spaces
between the words
we so carefully avoid

While the sky tumbles
with the weight of stars
burdened with the truth
of the nothing
we are to become
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1 comment:

  1. Beautiful, your words, but super sad. Sighs. Love hurts, doesn't it? Best of luck to you.