Saturday, October 30, 2010


 Saffron hills smolder;
pillars stand steadfast, undaunted,
on barren lands.


  1. I like the first two lines, but "sands of time" doesn't fit. In fact, I really like the image that the first line evokes -- vivid, exactly right.

  2. The original post Oleg referenced in his comment:

    Saffron hills smolder;

    pillars stand steadfast, against

    the sands of time.

    Poetry is an ever evolving art form. I hope with this rewrite, I am closer to my goal of perfecting the Haiku. Few written works hold such simplistic beauty. Though the form is difficult to translate, my desire is to capture the spirit of this ancient Japanese art.