Melting into Silence

It is in the knowing of my heart

the love for self, that I find you

for one cannot love another

without facing the reality of self

Falling into silence may seem like a funny concept, but I find myself doing it far too often lately.  Perhaps melting might be a better word for I melt into the silence between the words each time I hear his voice.  There’s a rhythm we’ve found.  It’s soothing and comfortable following the coming tide.  A tide that flows over my being…is it love?  Possibly…and you may even say that I’m falling, but all I care about are those moments.  The sound of his sigh...a hum on his lips…the way he laughs at all the silly things I do.  He is so very accepting of my wild imaginings.  It may be due to the fact that he lives in such dreams or that he is comfortable living in mine for a time.

In the still, I hear U

a souls whisper

contented silence

washes over my being

I'm left, speechless

no words can give weight

to such feelings

Either way I live for those moments.  The ones we get lost in without thought of time.  Time passes quickly for two beings connected on such a deep level.  I have no idea where this leads.  Though I suspect with my ever cautious heart that it will lead to the one place I fear to fall completely.  It will lead to love….soulful love.  Something that happens between two people who have a knowing of self.  Each has faced the demons of loneliness and feel at peace with the pain found there. 

A journey traveled

through the mountains of sorrow

of falling too fast and landing too hard

dancing between our souls

and the world lived in reality

and the perception of our reality.

            Perception is an important part of any love.  We tend to give ourselves weight based on the view points of others.  If they love us then it follows that we are lovable, but the reality is that our value is not based on outside perception.  We exist on this earth.  That fact alone gives us worth as a human being.  Add to that the talents and love that are ever present within our hearts.  This combined picture may not always be visible to others, but my point is that it doesn’t matter if they see it or not.  A jump in my journey came with the realization that I needed to see my value.  I do not give weight to opinions that go against this core knowledge.  The demons of the past have no hold on me because I refuse to allow them to control my perception of self.  Without control the voices have no power. 

I do not step forward

into the future

that will come in time

instead, I sit

in comfortable silence

listening to your heartbeat

            So where does this leave us?  The simple answer: here.  Does that answer leave you wanting?  There was a time in my life when it would have done the same to me, but I find that the road less scary.  The future will happen with time and I am comfortable with the silence.  Perhaps because I can live in the still by myself now…though it is nice to find a likened soul to share the journey.