It almost seems as if the world shifted when I wasn’t paying attention, but that has never been my strength. I often miss the changes in the tide. That’s when the waves start pulling the sand from under my feet; causing me to sink past the point of balance. I flounder, looking around for something to stop the fall, but the scenery is barren. So I scan the beach for another soul to extend a hand, finding that I am alone. I could blame this unusual tide on the moon, but experience has shown that the truth typically lies right below the surface; in the depths of water I often avoid, because the darker waters hold mysteries I’ve yet to comprehend.
When the universe speaks, my first inclination is to run. Today the tide came in throwing me back into the sand. Now I could have stood up, making a fast break for the hills, but when I looked back at the imprint there were two sets. This alone would have made me uncomfortable. However, I wasn’t quite prepared for what I saw next; a heart, perfectly formed in the drop, neatly placed between the prints.
I’ve tried to write about this love many times. The urge to express it is bursting from every pore, but the words always leave me wanting. It doesn’t get much better when we speak. I find my heart dripping straight out of my chest into his eyes. Some invisible force sews my lips together. I resort to a look, a touch, a soft sigh that embodies the essence of the emotional rollercoaster my soul is on.
With the ability to express such emotions removed, I turn to moments. You see, that is all we really have together; a day at the beach, when the horses grazed on winter dried grasses, hiding in his arms from the chilled ocean breeze; driving down a moonlit road listening to rosy tunes, finding solace in the click-clack of the train tracks; a night of love drunk bliss, watching foreign films and falling into soft kisses, hoping to God that time stops.
If this were just a romanticized view of what we are together, I could disconnect my soul and write an epic anthology of love poetry. The fact is, the ease of this love sits outside of conflict. There is no jealousy, anger, finger pointing, questioning of motive or action, because none of these things exist between us. It’s simply a heart in the sand, surrounded by the imprint of two souls without expectation.
There are times when you have to live something. Not every experience lends itself to the page. I find more often than not the backstory, although interesting, isn’t given much weight by the reader. So I’ll leave out the how’s and why’s to relate what we are now. We are love, we are touch, we are talk, and we are that simple everyday something that everybody is looking for, and we are all this….together.