Cracks

Some cracks take much longer than a minute to heal. We try to skip past them, hoping that time fills the break. That’s when the weeds move in pushing the edges past the mind. As the crack expands, we gain momentum, but they grow so much faster than a heart can run.

These cracks started when youth was still fresh in my eyes. For all my skipping and whistling, I could not find a way to fill them. No amount of love can kill the weeds, but even at that tender age, I knew that love could fill the holes. Still, there were the weeds which grew beyond the confines of my soul.  

If you gaze long enough at my fingertips, you can see the scars left from years of pulling. See I decided several years ago to begin the journey of removal; to cleanse my soul of the poisoned plants infecting the cracks. It occurred to me that you can’t fill something until it’s empty. Seem like a simple concept? Perhaps, but most people don’t see the weeds; so they continue to attempt filling something that is already full.

It’s a journey of will. You’ll find that some things are very comfortable. Well fed by doubts and insecurities, kept warm by fleeting desires, they can grow beyond your control. Patience is the key; touched with a bit of understanding and the love of self. Of course, you must be willing to take a hard look at choices. My suggestion is to wear lenses that feather the edges, because not every choice we make is a good one; and then exercise a little forgiveness.

In the end, pain is the most difficult weed to remove. Here forgiveness is key. You must be able to forgive yourself for taking that left turn instead of the right; and then extend those arms to include the people who added to that pain. It didn’t occur to me, until recently, that people can be forgiven for most anything. It’s a matter of stepping back and taking a good look at what drives them to action. Sometimes we need to put ourselves in Their place to see the why’s.

After all this work I still find cracks, but the fact that I see the new ones is a step towards healing. Now, when the pain comes to fill them, I remove it quickly. There’s no point in letting something so empty, something simply intent on feeding off my energy, to consume me. In its place I add love. The love I have for the starlit souls in my life fills the breaks past flowing. For that, I am forever grateful.