it sooths the senses.
Haunting whistles
serve as a reminder;
the sacrifice of flesh
still fresh, after so many years.
These centered moments;
mirrored in walls that crumble.
falling to forces outside our grasp
While echoes float in shimmers,
a connection to events
since removed from context;
carrying a sting that ripples.
Here, in the moonlight,
thoughts wander,
conjuring images of life;
stories set to emotions that linger.
As he whispers in my ear,
my heart stops, waiting for the push.
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I like this one. It has definite promise! It's a bit too vague for me (you know I need more specificity) but the way into the poem through the first stanza is a great setup. The way that the line "While echoes float in shimmers" creates a sense of Synesthesia works very well. The last stanza seems kind of a cop-out to me though; you leave us without actually telling us anything.
ReplyDelete"thoughts wander,
conjuring images of life;
stories set to emotions that linger. "
What "thoughts"?
What "images of life"? From your poem, I have little to work towards.
What "stories"? Clearly there are stories as lines 5-6 tell us, but your poem just points a place we can't see. It would be good if you actually showed it to us.