The emptiness consuming my eyes should be the first sign. But then it's likely you never truly spend time looking into them. Missing the first, you could go on to see the casually indifferent way I nod when you speak. Yet still I find the clues too subtle, for these are the same messages sent over years of conversations that contain one subject...you.
I pat you on the back, nod, or smile and hope that the poison dripping from your lips hasn't infected my soul, but the knowing gets the better of me. It was infected so very long ago by hearts far more indifferent to the reality of me than you. No your dipped darts haven't the virility to take me down though I must acknowledge a fervent attempt. Few have been so passionate in their pursuit of my attentions, in truth I wish you weren't.
The affections you seek are far removed from this heart; if they ever truly existed, but even with that fact aside, they are not present now. If it is pain you desire there are those far better equipped to provide for you.
This heart does not live in that chaos. My mind prefers silence to the constant search for revelation. These paths we follow do not cross. Our maps are separate; topography unique to our own journeyed lands.
Should you find someone, anyone along your road, take hold by heart and walk together, but know that it is not me. Gaze into her eyes, note the smile ~the perfections of imperfections making her soul unique to yours~ and then cherish the fortune. In the knowing, your soul will find peace, but the choice is yours to make.
Open yourself to the truth of it so that revelation has a road to follow. Enlightenment simply needs consent to fall upon your soul. When it’s time, when you are ready, the reality of the nothing that we were will wash over you softly and you will find comfort in the knowing. There isn't a we or us...there never was...only you and me, but then that is precisely how it should be.
~Faded Cast~
Staggering ignorance
Set to course
A beating that's off
to a rhythm that’s faltered
Evidenced in a cringe
not seen by your eyes
The same that peer
at me in surprise
Faded cast of glowing embers
Loss of warmth
Loveless splendors
Held outside an empty heart
Knowing hidden
from the start
Even if these words were true
The meaning would be lost
to you
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